The Barrens

by Hazards

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Old Friends 01:47
Within the blink of an eye and it could have all come to an end. Eyelids once closed by choice nearly ordered to drift as a God send. I beg and I plead for mercy and yet I am given this? Countless tests before me and I fail to exist. I walked away from a once in a lifetime opportunity. An easy way out. This was my chance. No one would ever know. One false move and a sigh of relief. I wish my near death experience inspired me to be something more. You can always hide the mistake but you can't always hide the feeling that created it. This downward spiral and I, we go way back. My oldest friend, a means to an end. I close my eyes and the world disappears. There is no need to pretend.
Another sleepless night has got a hold of me. I have lost track of how long I have been awake. My mind has begun playing tricks on me. I have no idea what day it is. I think it's Friday but I'm not sure, is it Sunday already? Where has this week gone? The sun is coming up and I haven't slept in days. All I know is that something's got to give before I blow my brains out just to get some rest. I am stuck in my own head and I already regret what I just said. I want out. I want in. I want to find a way to get in between. We can't always get what we want because we no longer want what we get. I'm not making any sense. I can see the burn. I can feel it's fire. The smoke has filled my lungs. I burst into flames.
Stay 02:14
When you asked "What is going on in your head?", I didn't know what to say so I shrugged instead. I knew damn well what was on my mind, I didn't think this was the right time. We weren't alone. The room was crowded and I wasn't about to scream and shout it. This isn't easy. It's never been easy. I don't exactly know how to put this but I know I promised not to keep it bottled up. I will try my best to get this off my chest so we can finally put this conversation to rest. Understand that this will be one of the hardest things that I have ever had to do in my life. I'm not ok. I'm not alright. I can't shake this feeling no matter how hard I try. I don't want to alarm you but I tried to hurt myself last night. I didn't want to keep this from you but I considered taking my own life. And I need you by my side more now than ever before. Stay with me through the night and I'll tell you all about what's been going on in my head. Thank you for asking. Thank you for listening. Thank you for understanding.
Departure 00:37
I am so sick of the warm betrayal behind the eyes of compromise. The lust for a love unknown underneath all that I despise. I won't go on pretending.You left the flock that we believed you had been tending alone. I gave my everything. I gave you my all. I took that leap of faith and you just watched me fall.
Cliche 01:34
Somehow we have ended up right where we began. Nothing has changed. The record has skipped a beat and we are sick of the same old song and dance. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I refuse to let you get the best of me again. I won't let you drag me down to your depths. You look me in the eyes and swear that it will be different this time. We've heard it all before and we just can't take it anymore. I hope you find in life what it is you are searching for with out me by your side. How could we do this to you? How can you do this to us?
The Last One 02:42
Looking back now I realize that there is just one day that changes all of our lives. My fondest memory brought to life in this soliloquy. And I think of that day and I can still see your face and I like to believe that I have changed. Truth is I remain the same, I've been stuck at the age, I was when you had left me. There is no music. It is just you and I and a microphone. I know that nothing is everything but one thing can make it all worth while. I still think about you. I often dream about you. Where would I be without you? What could have been despite you? There isn't anything that I wouldn't give to have this conversation face to face with you standing before me. I would tell you how much I love you and how sorry I am that I couldn't help you. This silence is deafening. There is a road and I have lost my way. With no direction home and a need to escape. I think of that day and the smile put on my face and believe it is not too late for me to change. My love for you will remain the same as it did for you at that age when you passed away. *You have to carry the fire. It's inside you. It was always there.* There is one shadow and there is one light.
PTSD 01:36
This may very well be the last thing that I do but I will have succeeded if I am standing before you. A few months ago I was faced with the fear of no tomorrow which had an impact on me unlike anything I have ever thought of. I have reached an all time low. I am afraid to leave the house and everywhere I go I can feel their eyes burning a hole through me and I am ashamed of what I have convinced myself that I will never be. Day to day life seems impossible. Everything has become a struggle. Nothing is easy while I continue to crumble. This has truly got the best of me. My diagnosis is PTSD. I never thought that this could be the end of me. I refuse to numb it, I will overcome it. I will not let this be the end of my story. One minute at a time I strive to take back what's mine. The hands on the clock seem like they are pointing at me. They remind me that they will stop for no one.
91906 01:30
A question was asked and an answer was given. Were we built to last? We were the dead among the living. I saw in you what you saw in me. One word. Three letters. Changed the world as I knew it. I look into your eyes and hope is all I see. A glimmer that insists on holding on. Now I know what you see in me. An excuse is all I'd need to end it. You were the answer that I was given. If it weren't for you there would be no song to sing. If it weren't for you the music would have never begun. If it weren't for you these words would not mean a thing. All because of you I have found a reason to live on.
Sink or Swim 02:42
6 whole months circle the drain. Nothing more to lose and even less to gain. The water is rising and making it hard to breathe. Where I go from here is solely up to me. 208 days come crashing down on me like a tidal wave. School was never for me but it seems as if I have taken on a trade. I have become real good at ignoring what is needed to better me. Let's just say it has become my specialty. I can hold my breath 4,992 hours without even noticing it. My fingers are clenched. I am losing my grip. This basement is flooding. I am standing here with no bucket. Everything around me has been destroyed. I must leave it all behind and say "Fuck it". This place will be the death of me. This room my cemetery. I will never let go. I'm still trying.


The Barrens was recorded at Studio 4, November 4-6, 2011. Engineered by Will Yip, mixed by Will Yip and Vince Ratti.



released November 30, 2011


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Hazards Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Philadelphia energetic, melodic hardcore.

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